The first pre-season run-out of the year ended in a 12-21 defeat, but with the important caveat that this is exactly what pre-season is for; blowing out the cobwebs, remembering how to tackle without falling over, and discovering which parts of the game we apparently still haven’t learned.
The afternoon got off to a particularly unfortunate start for Harry Wilkinson Roberts, who, after an excellent warm-up, suffered what looked to be a serious collarbone injury within the first 30 seconds, and was taken to hospital. The only person more upset than Harry was Toby, who having shown up late and not warmed up, was now being forced off the bench to begrudgingly play the game he’d willingly signed up for.

Despite this, we started brightly, spending large parts of the opening period camped in Acton’s 22 and putting together strong phases without quite managing to turn the pressure into points. Eventually, after some excellent defensive work around the ruck in the corner, they managed to walk the ball through our midfield for the opening try. They converted, and despite our early dominance, we found ourselves 0-7 down.
There were plenty of encouraging signs. Victor Sanchez was producing enormous hits in midfield, repeatedly stopping runners in their tracks and forcing knock-ons, while the scrums looked particularly dominant whenever Charlie Stevens was on the pitch.
Jude was also making his long-awaited return, throwing himself into tackles with such ferocity that he provided further evidence that you apparently don’t need brain cells to play rugby.

James Mallen was making an equally impressive return. The last time he was spotted in a Finsbury Park shirt, his knee was hanging out of his leg after the final game before Christmas last season. This time he was back running through people, hitting them hard enough to force a dropped ball and a knock on. Unfortunately, Acton eventually found an edge and broke through out wide for their second try, converting again to take the score to 0-14.

But rather than letting the game drift away, we responded with our best passage of rugby of the afternoon.
We started moving the ball from side to side, gaining metre after metre through the sort of disciplined phase play we’d been working on in training.

Eventually the pressure told and we won a penalty, kicking to the corner.
Callum McDonald delivered an absolute bullseye with the throw into the middle. The jumper was launched, Callum collected at the back of the maul and began trundling forward, expertly guiding the pack as the maul gathered momentum.
With the maul rumbling towards the line, our 9 then spotted the opportunity, ripped the ball out of the back and darted around the blind side before popping it off to Charlie, who went over for a well-worked try.

Debutant Sean Mcgwyne followed up with a superb conversion from a tight angle to help us close the gap.
7-14.

The momentum was now firmly with us.
More excellent phase play followed, with the backs moving the ball intelligently and eventually finding Jake Painter on the right. Jake had been calling for the ball for some time, although his calls were apparently competing with Alec, stationed on the sideline and producing increasingly high-pitched squeals of “GIVE IT WIDE!” to the backs.
Eventually the backs heard the right voice.
Painter took the ball and grounded it in circumstances that were, at best, highly debatable. The referee, however, had apparently seen enough and awarded the try.
12-14.

With the game suddenly back within two points, we looked capable of completing the comeback.
Fred Bromley then nearly produced the moment of the match. With us defending inside our own five-metre line, he got his hands on an interception and looked briefly capable of turning defence into a spectacular try. Unfortunately, the opposition managed to slap the ball down before Fred could properly secure it, meaning there was no heroic run upfield - just a tantalising glimpse of what might have been.
And then came the final passage.

We had actually defended extremely well around our own 22 and put ourselves in a good position to exit. The sensible option was obvious: get the ball downfield and make them work their way back.
Instead, in what can only be described as classic pre-season decision-making, we inexplicably tried to pass our way out.
Taking inspiration from Fred’s attempt just moments ago, the opposition intercepted the ball inside our 22 and ran it in for their third try. They converted again, making the final score 12-21. Full Time.

It was a particularly frustrating ending given the amount of work that had gone into getting ourselves back into the contest. We had shown excellent defensive resolve to get into a position where we could exit, only to undo it ourselves with one unnecessary bit of rugby bravado.
There were still plenty of positives. For a first pre-season game, the second-half response was particularly encouraging: strong phase play, an effective maul, good defensive pressure and two well-worked tries showed that the structure is there. The main lesson, perhaps, is that when you’re two points behind with minutes remaining, sometimes the most sophisticated attacking strategy available is simply kicking the bloody ball out.

Shoutout to Paul Smith, who stepped up to take Harry to hospital after the injury. Rumours circulating within the squad suggest Paul may have been running dangerously low on petrol and spotted an opportunity to expense a full tank through the club. These allegations remain entirely unsubstantiated.
And finally, a special mention to Abdul, who announced that this was his last game before heading down to Sussex for university. We wish him all the best - although, given the existence of Thameslink, we suspect this may be less of a goodbye and more of a temporary relocation.

Man of the Match: Victor Sanchez
After ten seasons of waiting, Victor finally gets his hands on the Man of the Match award. A series of enormous hits, forced knock-ons and a performance that helped keep us in the contest.

Dick of the Day: YB
For failing to notice that he was wearing an Apple Watch during the game. When informed of this oversight, YB reportedly replied:
“Do you want the time?”