2s Go Marching On

The following is loosely based on the events of Saturday 23rd January 2019, although some of the names and events have been changed/forgotten/completely made up because Rohan is a useless bollox of a man.
After a 90 minute journey into what I assume was almost Yorkshire the Fins were over the collective hangovers and raring to go. So much so that Fred Bromley managed to injure the Sean Blake look-a-like playing hooker within the first 2 minutes.
Early Pressure leads to a ruck 8m out, quick thinking by Pat at the breakdown led to an early offload to yours truly who converted through three of Royston’s finest with an outstretched arm. Converted by Tristan from the tight angle, taking kicking duties for the first time in green and yellow. 0 - 7
In celebration Rohan decided his work here was done and sauntered off to commence what is sure to be a glittering career in punditry judging by the insightful WhatsApp thread.
Royston lay down two try’s in quick succession through some direct running by the big lads. We all agree it won’t happen again because we’ll start getting lower... 12 - 7. It’s around this point that injury ends a good start for Alex ‘Irish’ Moran costing the pack some physicality after a couple of powerful carries. But fear not reader, Vincent ‘les bleu’ Hirribarren takes to the field and straight into the fray with some big tackles and flowing locks screaming ‘bibliotheque’ with every contact.
The response to being 5 down is almost immediate from FPRFC, Fred Bromley picks up the ball inside our own 22 and glides across the width of the pitch, laying it off to the backs. Victor and Rory offer support in the ruck allowing Toby to hammer down the byline at full pace for a simple five points, Tristan conversion. 12 - 14
The fins become architects of their own demise shortly after taking the lead, a combination of disorganisation, dreadful tackling and dare i say a smidgen of complacency allow Royston to break the line almost at will, gaining significant yards every time. The Pack and Centres are enjoying themselves and take full advantage with 3 try’s and 2 conversions in the space of 9 minutes. Between each try, pleas are made for calm heads to prevail and tackles to be at least south of the nipples. To no avail. 29 - 14.
Finally the Fins wake up and a concerted effort stems the tide and puts fins back on the front foot with some solid rucking. Rob Simpson, Morse and Chilean Conner providing a stable platform and some much needed aggression.
Half Time Fins deservedly down 29 - 14
The second half starts as the first did with some direct play in the forwards leading to a simple conversion for the returning stud Adam Born, unfortunately science school only taught him to hold test tubes, not rugby balls and its dropped over the line for a sure fire DOTD nomination. However, the pressure remains relentless setting up a rolling maul off a line out and subsequent try for Fred Bromley. Tristan converts his third to make it 29 - 21. Fins back in the game within 2 mins of the second half.
The restart is well taken in the forwards, an immediate 15m carry followed by some structured play orchestrated by the vocal Tom Kemp follows before being dished out to the backs. Josh ‘baby faced assassin’ Tyseling runs in the Fins 4th, gliding through the Royston defensive line like a well lubed penis through a hairy, sweaty pair of labia.
29 - 28 as The Fins convert the 4th of 4 attempts leading Tewson to enquire as to why Tristan hadn’t put him self forward before ‘I didn’t want to rock the boat’ was the response from our benevolent 15.
Royston appeared to be demoralised after seeing their commanding lead reduced to just a point, FPRFC are playing some great rugby in attack and defence. Carries in the forwards by Will Monk and Morse gain some valuable yards near the half way line. A swift break involving some excellent work between the centres saw Rory power over the line for fins to take the lead for the first time since the 10th minute.
A 5th conversion from the self proclaimed kicking messiah put the fins up 29 - 35, very much in control and surely nothing could prevent us retaining the lead and building a comfortable cushion. Turns out, one thing could...
During some sustained pressure, our roving 10 ambled across the pitch, and seeing the FPRFC winger with only 3 men to beat and zero support attempted to pick him out with a tame lobbed ball. It may surprise you to hear, that this did not work out for the best reader. An interception from the Royston 13 saw him run 40m with two fins on his tail and the author of this piece bravely watching from the halfway line. The conversion makes it 36 - 35
On 55 minutes, after various things might have happened in a number of phases, probably involving some good play by several people, Fins find themselves inside the Royston 10. Adam Born picks the ball up and powers over the line with an impressive turn of pace, then, with a booming voice proclaims “That’s Science”, maniacally waving a fist at the deity he simply doesn’t believe in due to the lack of empirical evidence.
Conversion missed by that useless flash in the pan Tristan, the crowd becoming restless and pleading for his removal from kicking duties. 36 - 40
The second half has seen the centres and wingers enjoying plenty of ball with Ross and Toby gaining ground on every attack, the final 10 minutes is no different as Fins dominate the break down and move the ball quickly through hands.
With a focus on retaining possession and playing our game, the gaps start to appear and two tries in the last 5 from Rory and Toby wrap up proceedings and complete a stellar second half for the 2s. The ever reliable Tristan slots both kicks and resumes strutting around like he owns the shop.
A fantastic game to be a part of, some excellent rugby and a valuable lesson learned in 10 first half minutes. Full Time - 36 - 52 and the Fins march on to the semi final.

DOTD - Adam Born (50 seconds for the pint of Guinness. Yes we’re recording this now. Tewson did it in 45 putting him at the top of the table)

MOTM - Rory Sheppard for generally being a class act, incisive in attack and tough in the tackle.